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Direction

Far too often I wonder whether I'm living the life I want to or the life the world wants me to. What are the signs?? What are they symptoms?? Misery? Dissatisfaction? Monotony? Complacency? I see garbage trucks pass and fight the urge to hop on and go wherever it takes me. Maybe force them to hire me and live that life for a bit. Or climb on a pickup truck and be a gardner. Or move to the woods and build a house out of wood, brawn, and man. Is this the life I dreamed of?? I honestly don't know. One thing I've learned is life is one big tease. Every time I'm on the verge of to quitting my job to live life as an over productive hobo something reminds me why I live. It's my own pessimism that triggers these thoughts. Or maybe my own ambition. I want to impact the universe. I want to turn my meaningless existence on this floating space rock, in the milky way galaxy, and ultimately the universe into something significant. There's more out there to be seen heard and felt. I just need to find a life that incorporates all of these ambitions. But how??
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